Moments before sleep
by jade30
Summary: The Tendo family deals with the impending death of a loved one.
1. Chapter One: Soun

_Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Ranma 1/2.  They belong to Rumiko Takahashi.  The song used in these chapters is Sophie B. Hawkins' As I lay me down._

**Chapter One: Soun  
**_It felt like spring time on this February morning  
In the courtyard birds were singing your praise  
I'm still recalling things you said to make me feel alright  
I carried them with me today_

*****

Soun Tendo and his wife, Kimiko sat on the engawa just outside the living room watching their daughters chase each other around the koi pond.  "We've done so well with them, Kimiko.  How will they turn out with only me to guide them?"

Kimiko gave her husband a weak squeeze.  "They will turn out beautifully.  You will raise them the best you can.  When you do your best, Soun dear, you always receive the most overwhelming of results."

"I will do my best," Soun said with determination as strong as steel.  "But I'm afraid.  Afraid that, this time, my best won't be nearly good enough.  Afraid that I'll fail them, fail you."

"I'm not afraid," Kimiko whispered.  "You'll still be here.  You'll be able to watch them grow, you'll be there to guide them, to answer their questions.  You'll be there to hold them when they're scared, to cheer them when you're proud, to smooth away their worries, and chase away their fears.  But I'm sad," her words were choked with unshed tears, "so sad.  What can I contribute?  Will they remember me, after I'm gone?  Will they remember what little I've taught them?  Will they remember how much I love them?"

Soun sat in silence.  It was time, he knew, for him to put his own fears aside to soothe his wife's.  The trading of comfort was a game they had begun to play these last painful months.  For the barest of heartbeats he pitied himself, wondered what he would do when his only partner in this unhappy game had to sit out forever.  He steadied his voice, trying to provide comfort and not sound overly consoling.  He gestured toward the three girls playing before them.  "Look at them, Kimiko.  What do you see?"

Kimiko's smile was proud; her sadness quickly shoved the aside at the thought of her daughters.  "Three little miracles."

"If any of those little miracles asked you for the moon, what would you do?"

"Climb to the tip of heaven to get it for them."

Soun squeezed her hand, touched his lips to her fingertips.  "That's how I know they won't forget you.  You would give anything for them, and they know that.  Those three girls out there, if you told them you'd go to the tip of heaven to get the moon for them, they'd believe you.  Actually," he added with a smile, "they'd never let you go alone."  

Kimiko chuckled.  "Kasumi would pack a delicious meal and make sure everyone had clean underwear.  Nabiki would find someone to take us there cheap; and Akane would go charging on ahead, determined to be the first to hold the moon in her hands."

Soun laughed quietly.  His wife had described his daughters perfectly.  The fact that the three girls had such distinct personalities never ceased to amaze him.  But the thought of what was to come resurfaced all too quickly.  The strength he found to soothe the woman beside him began to weaken, his limbs grew heavy with despair. 

"That's all well and good, but Kimiko…how am I supposed to go on without you?  How can I get up in the morning when your face won't be the first thing I see?  How can I walk down the street when you won't be there to hold my hand?  How do I forget that you are everything to me?"  He turned to her, his eyes almost complete saturated with tears.

Kimiko, forever astute, knew when it was her turn to console.  Gently, she placed her hand on Soun's face, turned him so that he was looking out into the yard.  Her hand warm with life on her husband's cheek, Kimiko looked lovingly at her daughters.  "There's a piece of you in them, just as there is a piece of me.  All you have to do is look at them, and you'll remember.  I promise."


	2. Chapter Two: Nabiki

**Chapter Two: Nabiki**_  
As I lay me down to sleep  
This I pray  
That you will hold me dear  
Though I'm far away  
I'll whisper your name  
Into the sky_

Nabiki galloped down the hallway, rushing to beat her sisters and Mrs. Kawamura, their babysitter, to her mother's room.  Panting for breath, she took a minute to compose herself.  She wanted to be the first one to tell her parents about how her teacher had called her "the best student in the class."  She was about to burst into the room when the sound of her parents fighting stopped her.  

It wasn't the kind of fight they had before mom got sick; the kind where they yelled and called each other silly names, the kind where that usually ended up with helpless laughter and noisy kisses, the kind of fight that was quite common in the Tendo household.  It was a quiet kind of fight; the kind they hardly ever had, the kind where their voices were low, harsh, and almost sad, the kind that usually ended with mom crying and dad meditating in the dojo for hours, the kind of fight her parents hardly ever had.

Curiosity peaked, Nabiki stood just outside the doorway and listened to her parents argue.

Inside the room, Soun paced as his wife rested tensely on her bed.

"It's the newest treatment, Kimiko.  You heard the doctor, it's guaranteed to produce the best results," Soun's voice was pleading.

Kimiko's voice was firm.  "It's produced the best results because it's been tested on only a few patients.  How can we know if it will work on me?  Besides, it's also very expensive.  We don't have that kind of money right now, Soun."

"So we'll take out a loan.  If it keeps you with us longer, it's worth anything."

"What can it buy us?  A few more months?  A year at the most?"  She shook her head.  "I don't think it's worth the little bit of time it can buy us."

"What about the girls?  Don't you think they deserve a little more time with their mother?  They miss you so much, Kimiko.  They love you so much.  Isn't it worth it to make them happy for a few more months?  Isn't a year more of happiness worth that?"

"You're playing dirty, Soun.  You know I'd do anything for them, anything."  She shook her head again and wiped at the tears that had begun spilling down her cheeks.  "We have to face the facts.  We know it's not going to be much longer.  Take the money and use it to take care of the girls.  Let's invest in the future, not waste money on the past."

They continued to argue, but Nabiki had stopped listening.  Inside her head, creative gears began to turn.  She knew all about money, her mother had explained its importance when Nabiki was old enough to start earning a weekly allowance by doing various chores around the house.  Her sisters had been so sad lately, Nabiki had been saving up her money to buy them cheering up presents: for Akane a stuffed pig she had squealed over at the toy store, and for Kasumi an apron that was just her so size so she wouldn't have to wear mom's too big one anymore.  If there was a little money left over, Nabiki had planned to get herself a brand new piggybank since she was running out of space in her old one.  

Nabiki, always a very smart girl, had learned a lot from previous eavesdropping sessions.  She knew that her mom was very sick, that's why sometimes, she spent more time in the hospital instead of in their home.  She also knew that her mom had to do something called treatments a lot, which Nabiki knew meant taking a whole lot of different kinds of medicine.  Her mind made up, Nabiki straightened her shoulders decisively.  If mom needed new this expensive new medicine to get better, then Nabiki would give her parents all the money she had saved up for presents.  Akane and Kasumi would understand. 

Her musings were interrupted by the abrupt arrival of Kasumi, Akane, and Mrs. Kawamura.  "You are quite the speed demon, Nabiki," Mrs. Kawamura gasped.  "Well then girls, let's go say hi to your mother, shall we?"

Two days later, Nabiki stood solemnly beside her mom's bed.  "I have something for you, Mom."

"What is it, Nabiki?"  Kimiko smiled, proud as always, of her middle daughter.  "Is it another good test score?"

"No."  Unsure of what to say next, she dumped the contents of her piggybank on the bed.

"Nabiki!  What is all this?"

Nabiki bubbled with excitement; joy sang in her voice, hope lit up her eyes.  "I heard you and Dad talking the other day.  I know all about the expensive new medicine.  I know the doctor thinks it will make you better.  Here's all my money.  Can we get you the new medicine and make you all better now?"

Kimiko's heart broke.  At a glance she could tell that, all of Nabiki's savings now sat on her bed.  Nabiki was rather conservative when it came to spending money, opting instead to stash all her money away in her piggy bank.  While her savings was not by any means a fortune, the woman knew that, that, for a little girl, it was a great deal of money indeed.  "Nabiki?  Is all this money from your piggy bank?"

"Well, kind of.  I've been saving for a long time," the girl sensed that something was wrong and, as a result, the rest of her words tumbled out, nervously crowding over each other.  "I wanted to buy Akane and Kasumi presents with it, but when I told them about your medicine, they said they didn't want presents.  They want you to be better too.  Kasumi gave me all of her money, and so did Akane," Nabiki snorted, "She only had five yen though."

Kimiko's heart broke a little more.  How can I turn down such a heartfelt gift?  Nabiki is so perceptive; even if I tried to bend the truth with her she'd see right through me.  "Nabiki, I'm very grateful for all of this and I know how much it means for you to give this to me but…"

"But you don't want it," Nabiki finished matter-of-factly.

"You know I don't believe in lying to you or your sisters, so I'm going to tell you the truth.  You're right, Nabiki.  I don't want your money."

Tears began to well up in Nabiki's eyes.

"But," Kimiko continued, "not for the reasons you think.  Will you listen?"

When her daughter nodded, Kimiko pulled her close.  "You overheard your dad and I talking about a new treatment didn't you?"  

"Dad said that he thinks this new medicine can make you better.  You said we didn't have enough money for it, so I…"

"Shh…let me finish, okay?  Remember how, when we go to the market, I'll sometimes try to get the shopkeepers to lower their prices for me?  Remember when we talked about trying to get your money's worth?"

"Uh-huh.  You said that you should always try to get the best with what you pay for.  Like that time we went vegetable shopping at that new market.  You said that too many of the vegetables had spots and were mushy and that, given the quality of the food, their prices were way too high.  You said it wouldn't be worth paying so much money for rotten vegetables."

"That's right.  And, when I say that spending so much money on medicine for me is not worth it, what do you think that means?"

"Well, I think you're a nice person, so I don't think that YOUR quality is bad.  But right now you're sick and you haven't been getting better.  If the new medicine is too expensive, and you say you're not worth it that might mean that you don't think you're going to get better.  Which means…"

The miserable look on Nabiki's face told Kimiko that her daughter had put two and two together.  "You've always been a very smart girl, Nabiki.  Your dad and I have been meaning to talk with you and Kasumi about this for some time now, but I never dreamed it would happen like this."

"You're dying."  Nabiki stated this so bluntly that Kimiko couldn't help but answer in kind.

"Yes."

"You don't want the new medicine because you know it won't work.  You're going to die no matter what."

Kimiko was so overcome with emotion she was incapable of speech.  

"Mama," it had been so long since she had called mom Mama…it just sounded so babyish.  But somehow, right now it just seemed right.  "Mama, I know you don't want my money to pay for your new medicine.  But…I still want to help.  I know we need money to buy food and stuff, can you use this money for that?"

"Oh, Nabiki, you don't have to…"

"But I WANT to, Mama.  I want to help.  After you're…after you're gone I want you to remember what a good girl I was."

Kimiko caught Nabiki up in a tight squeeze.  "I'll always remember you, Nabiki, and not just because you're a wonderful, good girl.  I'll always remember you because I love you.  If it helps you feel better, we'll save that money for the next time I come home and we can have a big party, okay?"

"Okay!  But Mom, I still want to help."

"I know you do, darling."  Kimiko pursed her lips.  "I want you to remember something, Nabiki.  This is about more than just money.  You, your father, and your sisters, all of you mean more to me than anything in the world.  That medicine may have given us a little more time together, but in the long run, I'd rather see the money used on all of you.  Just knowing that that money can be used to fix up the house, or to pay for your schooling, or to buy you a pretty dress, makes it worth a lot."  She laughed.  "I guess you can say that you all are my favorite investment.  

"I can tell by how much you've saved here, that you're really good at taking care of money.  Your dad is terrible with it.  Will you help him take care of the money after I'm gone?  Will you help him take care of my investment?"

Nabiki nodded enthusiastically and pressed a kiss to her mother's cheek.  "I'll take good care of Dad, Kasumi, and Akane, Mom.  I promise."  

_Author notes: Wow, it's been awhile, hasn't it?  I hope you enjoy this one at least a little bit.  It's been sitting on my computer for a long time and probably needs tons of brushing up.  
For those of you who have read Oppenheimer, and are curious as to its status, I'm still working on it.  I got it into my head that I wanted to rewrite a couple of chapters and that has prevented me from working on the rest of the story.  So, to get me back in that writing groove, I thought I'd post this story.  It's gotten those creative juices flowing, although slowly.  
Please read and review.  I'm looking forward to hearing from you.  But be kind, the writing cogs are still pretty rusty.  =)_


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